All my life I’ve been trying to hide certain things about myself, whether it be acne, my weight or something else. It has taken me years to begin to even like myself, let alone love myself. Now I’m kicking myself for hating who I am for so long.
I used to gravitate toward black or just simple clothing so I could attempt to camouflage myself and stand out as little as possible. It took me until about two years ago to really start accepting myself. It all started with a leopard-print dress that I bought from Walmart.com in 2012 before my cousin’s wedding. It was a tasteful, work-appropriate dress that was also fun and spunky, and I loved it. It apparently only then dawned on me that I didn’t have to wear black, basic things; I could wear and do things to express my personality.
As far as makeup went, I started using it a bit in middle school and then expanded a bit in high school and college. Only about a year ago, I really started getting into makeup and skincare, as opposed to just slathering makeup on my face and eyes. I did research on products, started using some high end stuff and developed a routine. I’ve tweaked it a bit here and there since then, but the main process is still the same.
Ever since then, I’ve been getting even more into makeup and skincare, and because of that i decided to start this blog. I certainly don’t know everything, but I’m having a lot of fun figuring it out along the way. I love trying new products and looks, even if I think they might be too crazy for me because you never know until you try, right? I discovered that I really loved my eyes and my lips, so I started doing bright and bold eye looks and picking out different flattering pink and red lip colors to accentuate what I thought were my best features. By focusing on what I liked about myself, I seemingly didn’t seem to notice my flaws or things I didn’t like about myself as much.
I don’t have a perfect end to my story (as I hope I’m nowhere near the end just yet), but I just wanted to end with the idea that makeup is meant to be fun and crazy and used as a way to express yourself. It can be very empowering, and we shouldn’t be afraid of what others think. By trying different, sometimes crazy, things to make myself happy, I ended up standing out in ways I never imagined, and I didn’t try as hard to hide who I was. Of course I’m not perfect, and I still worry about what others thing from time to time, but I’m slowly getting better. Sure, family and friends and my boyfriend have certainly helped a lot when it comes to accepting and loving myself, that’s a given. What surprised me was the power I felt when playing around with products designed to hide, conceal, highlight and emphasize.
So, my name is Jessica, and I’m still learning how to love and accept myself every day. Want to join me on this journey, too?
