Being in my office used to bring me such joy because I arranged it in a certain way, but now it makes me feel anxious and even depressed.
Being in my office is a reminder that I should feel like a failure.
I see my letter from the Secretary of State for when I started my tarot and oracle card reading business last December, and it reminds me that I haven’t booked a new client in quite a while.
I see my vision board that I’ve edited and rearranged several times in the last few years sitting on the floor, and it reminds me that I never finished it because I didn’t even know what else I wanted to put on it.
I see my monthly whiteboard calendar that was last filled out in September, and it reminds me that I have no idea what I’m doing with my time anymore and that I clearly shouldn’t have bought it in the first place.
I see Sarah Steckler’s Mindful Productivity Planner, and even though it’s undated, it reminds me that I haven’t written in it since late in May.
I see all the different scrapbook papers I bought to use as backgrounds for daily card readings on Instagram, and it reminds me that I haven’t posted a card reading since the beginning of August.
I see a giant Harry Potter 3D puzzle of Hogwarts on the table next to my desk, and it reminds me that I got really frustrated with one of the steps and I never finished it so it’s just sitting there.
All of these things have been bringing me down for a while, but tonight I noticed I felt peace when I looked at each of those things.
Each one of those things are a reminder of who I am, but they’re not all of who I am. They’re all just part of my journey, and it’s okay that I haven’t finished working on them yet or haven’t done anything with them in months. It’s okay.
Because I also see a lot of awesome and positive things in my office that further help remind me of who I really am.
I see a poster from the Michael Buble concert I went to with a friend during my 21st birthday weekend; my favorite coffee mugs that I’ve bought or been given as gifts; my crystal and card collections; a K pumpkin someone bought my husband and I as a wedding gift; cute little glittery Christmas trees I got yesterday; and my favorite piece of word art ever that says “Be you not them.”
I am all of these things combined and also none of them. They’re all just things, and I decided it’s time to take ownership of how things make me feel.
I’m still going to slip up sometimes. I’m still going to be sad, mad, frustrated, depressed and anxious over these and other items. But overall, I’m still going to be me, and I’m still going to be okay.
No matter how you’re feeling right now, that’s okay. If there’s a room or part of a room you’ve been avoiding because it makes you feel depressed or anxious, that’s okay. If you’ve been totally crushing your goals and feel guilty for being proud of yourself, that’s okay.
All of those scenarios and more are okay. Give yourself permission to feel however you need to feel about them instead of hiding. Chances are your emotions aren’t as scary or overwhelming as you think, and even if they are, it’s only temporary.
What are you reframing or reclaiming in your life? Tell me in the comments below!
Photo by Yasin Yusuf on Unsplash
