I pride myself on being mindful and aware of my emotions and feelings, and I can tell I’ve been feeling more pressure lately. Here’s why I’m actually really enjoying that.
More people have been commenting both in person and online about how much they like the work I’m doing with this blog and my social media presence. I’m so honored and blessed to hear things like that, but it also makes me feel more nervous.
I feel a new sense of responsibility for this space and my Instagram. I feel more pressure to show up more often than I ever have before, and I know that’s self-imposed but it’s also real.
I’ve had this blog for several years now on and off, and I didn’t get feedback very often or on a consistent basis until the beginning of this year. I liked sharing what I wanted to share without worrying about if other people would see or notice or comment on it. It felt like this blog was a safe space to share whatever I wanted because who knew if anyone would really see it or read it?
Lately I’ve made the decision to show up more and share more about myself and my blog, and it’s been nerve-wracking but also exciting. I’m promoting my blog more in person (thanks to the new business cards I printed via Vistaprint, woot woot!) and online, and more people than ever are noticing and reaching out.
I’m fortunate to be in the position where people feel comfortable reaching out to me, but I’m noticing that I feel pressure to be and do even more than I already am to attract more followers or whatever you want to call them. I’d love to have my messages reach more people, but I want to make sure I’m doing it as authentically and vulnerably as possible because that’s how I got to where I am today.
I’m so thankful that people are taking what I have to say seriously (and I am too, honestly) and viewing me as someone who can say and share things that others might be afraid to.
I’ve suffered from imposter’s syndrome for a long time, and I’m still working on it but I’m getting better. I’m learning what my voice truly is and what sets me and this space apart from others. And through this space, I want to help others do the same.
I promise to keep sharing about myself and my life as honestly and vulnerably as I can and am able, no matter how many people follow me or not.
My ego is telling me to calm down because I’m not famous or anything, which is true, but I know more people are paying attention to what I’m doing so I can tell I’m putting more pressure on myself to act or be a certain or different way.
I’m not going to let this pressure change me or this space. I started this blog for a reason. I kept coming back to it for a reason. And who knows where it could lead in the future?
Whether you’ve read all my posts or none of them, I’m grateful for those who have given me encouragement when I wasn’t sure and allowed me to turn this into a space that’s been so rewarding, challenging and even exhilarating at times.
Whether I have a million followers or zero, I know I’ll still be the same goofy, serious, sarcastic, mindful, emotional witchy badass woman I’ve become. So thanks for being here and allowing me to be seen 😘
Photo by Michal Vavro on Unsplash
