Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash
So here’s the deal. Now it’s time for Thoughts for Your Thoughts (bonus points for you if you got that reference) because why not?
I’ve been unemployed for just over five months now. I never thought I’d be let go from a job, and I never thought it would take me this long to try to find a new full-time job.
The job market is pretty tough right now, and I’ve wanted to give up plenty of times. Some days have been very, very hard for me. I’ve been rejected. A lot. Emails and applications have gone unanswered. My self-worth has been a roller coaster these past few months, and lately it’s been more down than up.
Despite all the tough days, I still think everything happens for a reason. I’m glad to have gotten away from my previous employment, although I wish it was on different circumstances. I don’t think I was challenged or invested enough for it to be a long-term situation, honestly.
I can definitely say I’m a different person now. Being home alone so much has made me focus on and learn a lot about myself. And my dog, but that’s just because she’s adorable.
I’ve made some big changes in my life for things that are no longer serving me. I’ve found new books and rituals and Facebook groups to help nourish my soul. I’ve spent a lot of time writing in my journal and on this blog, looking for clarity and understanding.
Sometimes, life just sucks. And there’s no other way to phrase it.
I’ve caught myself comparing my journey with other people’s, and that’s not fair for so many reasons. No two people ever go on exactly the same journey. Just because someone else might have more money or more opportunities doesn’t necessarily mean they’re happier.
Having all this time to reflect and ponder about things has made me realize what’s really important in my life. I’ve learned I need to focus more on my family, my wedding later this year, my friendships, expanding my knowledge, writing and laughing more.
I wasn’t living to my full potential before. I don’t think I’m there yet now either, but I’m definitely getting closer.
There’s not a really good moral to wrap up this story. I just needed to take the time to be honest and vulnerable and open.
I don’t know how long it’ll be until I find a new job. Most days, that’s downright terrifying because life doesn’t stop just because you have to deal with big obstacles. I have no idea what the future will hold for me. But I’m finally starting to become more excited about the possibilities than sad about the negative circumstances.
I will not let this period break me or define me. I refuse.
I hope that no matter what you’re going through, you find the courage to step up and make changes or find ways to make it work. Life just keeps coming at us no matter what, so I’ve learned that sitting idly by, so to speak, is no longer an option for me.
