I’ve been slowly but steadily losing Instagram followers since I’ve posted more full-body shots and selfies.
At first I was disappointed, but that’s okay. It’s great, in fact.
The people who unfollowed me aren’t the people who need to hear the messages I’m trying to get out. That doesn’t mean my message has less value. In fact, it has more because it means my message has power. People are reacting to what I have to say.
For so long I was afraid of stirring the pot, stating my opinion, having an opinion at all. I basically only posted pictures of my dog, books and coffee. There’s nothing wrong with posting any of those things, but I knew I was just trying to present an image, one that wasn’t truly who I was, one that showed that I liked to sort of share about my life, even though I never really shared any photos or anything real from my life.
My social media used to barely scratch the surface of the real me. It was all fake, lackluster, a trick for others and myself. Now I post a lot of makeup-free selfies and full body shots, and I feel much happier than I’ve ever been. I feel more me when I’ve ever been.
The old me would’ve been upset at losing followers and tried to figure out what hashtags to use to get more people to see and like me. The new me says fuck it.
I am who I am on this blog, on social media and in real life. I’m doing my best to present the true image of myself everywhere because that’s important. Transparency is the most important value to me, and I will not bend or cave on that anymore to make myself more palatable for others.
It’s not rude to stand up and express yourself and be who you are as long as it’s not hurting others. Not everyone likes what I have to say anymore now that I’m saying exactly what’s on my mind. And that’s okay. I’m going to keep being the person I truly am regardless of how many people like me online or in person.
I am not defining myself as the girl everybody likes who stays calm and always helps everyone out figure out their shit. I used to basically live and die by that line of thinking. But not anymore. Now I’m the woman who knows who she is, speaks up about it and wants to help others figure out who they are too.
I have a passion deep inside me for writing and communicating, so I’ll keep doing it as long as that passion is fired up. Even if I feel uncomfortable or scared or nervous in the moment, I trust my gut and my instincts.
If I feel like posting about something, I’m going to do it and I’m not going to care about followers, likes, comments, etc. I’m doing it to express myself and document my journey because it’s cool as hell to reflect back on old posts and see how much I’ve changed or stayed the same.
Photo by lalo Hernandez on Unsplash
